Just what I was thinking before bed. Had to write it down.
I’ve lived a life that made my heart feel like it’s made of stone,
I’ve never ever done a damn thing for my own,
I’ll never love I said,
I’m happier inside my head,
But oh, I know,
I’ll keep putting my fate in others undeserving hands,
And I’ll keep boarding ships that are doomed to never rest on land,
I’ll never hope I said,
I miss the numbness that I dread,
But oh, I’ll go.
He may be gone, but there’s one thing I have left of him that I cherish more than any article of clothing or any amount of money. He wrote in a book for me on my 13th birthday, and on nights like tonight when I need to talk to him like I used to about problems I’m having, I can. There’s one thing I always end up reading that breaks my heart and makes me feel better at the same time:
“Abby, you are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us since your mother was born. Your are the prettiest, smartest, strongest, brightest, most alert grand baby there ever was. We always laugh about how much you love to dance even when you were a baby. Your parents and grandparents have tried to live lives so that you can be proud of your heritage. Wherever you go in life of whatever you decide to make of yourself, you can always be sure that you were loved.”